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TranscriptIntroduction
Welcome, my friends, to our last episode in our Gracious Life Series . . . well, at least for now. Today we’re going to tie up all the threads we’ve studied as we’ve talked about what it means to be gracious as God is gracious.
But before we dive into the spiritual glory that is love, I’d like to remind you that one of my greatest joys is traveling this world and speaking to God’s people wherever they may live. I speak on the topics of discipleship and worship, but I also love to open God’s Word and talk about any of Its truth. Check out AMBrewster.com to learn more. And you should also visit CelebrationOfGod.com to access today’s free episode notes, transcript, and grace resources on our blog. And now, let’s see how love and grace relate. Topic
Back in September when we started the Grace series, I quoted from two well-known theologians, and what they said surprised me a bit.
Had you asked me the relationship between God’s mercy, grace, goodness, love, patience, and the like, I would have likely remarked that mercy and grace were intrinsically linked, but that the rest of them interacted with each other like overlapping circles. I probably wouldn’t have come to the same conclusions as these theologians, and I may have come to a very different one. Who knows? None of you asked the question. It probably would have been easy for me to say that God’s love was a subset of God’s grace, but these gentlemen argue the opposite—God’s grace is a fruit of God’s love. In Charles Ryrie’s “Basic Theology,” in a section devoted to the love of God, he wrote “closely related to love are goodness, mercy, long-suffering, and grace. Although distinctions are made, they are not exact. Goodness may be defined as God’s benevolent concern for His creatures. Mercy is that aspect of His goodness that causes God to show pity and compassion. Long-suffering speaks of self-restraint in the face of provocation. Grace is that unmerited favor of God shown to man primarily in the person and work of Jesus Christ. All of these concepts are related and stem from the love of God who is love.” Millard J. Erickson wrote something very similar. He said, “Grace is another attribute that is part of the manifold of God’s love. By this we mean that God deals with his people not on the basis of their merit or worthiness, what they deserve, but simply according to their need; in other words, he deals with them on the basis of his goodness and generosity.” What they’re arguing is that God’s grace grows like fruit on the tree of God’s love, and so it shouldn’t surprise us that we will never be gracious as God is gracious unless we’re loving as God is loving. Now, today is not the day to scour the Scriptures in an attempt to make sure that our definition of love is biblical. I do plan to do a multi-part episode all about love, so—if you’re listening to this episode in the future—be sure to see if that series has been posted. My plan today is actually a simple one. We’re going to go back through our list of grace attributes and see how they interact with biblical love. Lord willing, we’re going to learn some new things, be convicted that we’re not as loving as we should be, and be challenged in how to practically show God’s gracious love. So, let’s start with . . . 1. Love is Humble. I Corinthians 13:4b-5 says that Love “is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.” Let’s break down those descriptors. A. Love is not jealous. The word translated “jealous” refers to earnestly seeking something. However, in a negative context, it deals with an envious seeking to have that which is not our own. Jealousy is prideful in that it believes it deserves something. It believes it deserves to be treated a certain way or have something or experience something. But humility isn’t thinking about ourselves. When we’re humble, we’re focusing on God and others, and so there is no envious jealousy because we’re not considering other people in the context of what we have or don’t have. B. Love does not brag. The word translated “brag” is just that. It’s has the idea of boasting about one’s self. I’m sure you can easily understand how boasting is not humble. C. Love is not arrogant. The word translated “arrogant” has to do with being puffed up. It’s an overinflated view of ourselves. Again, there is nothing humble about being delusionally obsessed with ourselves. D. Love does not act unbecomingly. To act unbecomingly is to behave in a way that doses’t fit our identity and expectations in Christ. To decide how we should act is an arrogant notion which grows from the idea that we have any right to choose. E. Love does not seek its own. Of course it doesn’t seek its own; grace isn’t not thinking about what we want, it’s thinking about what’s in another’s best interest . . . and that is always love. F. Love is not provoked. To be provoked is to be roused to anger, but that will never happen if we’re not seeking our perceived own. How can we be angry when we’re focused on loving God and others with no thought to ourselves, trusting the Lord to only ever give us what is best? And that’s why . . . G. Love does not take into a account a wrong suffered. Only a prideful person would catalog the sins committed against them, but only a humble person would recognize that the sin against God is far greater and give no thought to how they were personally affected outside of recognizing the very real consequences of sin. But in so doing, that individual wouldn’t become bitter or angry or resentful. They would love regardless of how many times the person had sinned against them. Now, in addition to all of this, Ephesians 4:1-2 ties humility and love together, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.” And I Peter 3:8 does a similar thing, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” Love requires humility. We will never truly love God and others if we do not remove ourselves from the occasion by graciously filling our gaze with God’s glory and His good for others. Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be humble. Are you a humble person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to grow in your humility as it relates to loving others, I encourage you to ask a simple question when interacting with someone—What is God’s best for this person? Whatever the answer is, do or say that thing. 2. Love is Kind. I Corinthians 13:4 tells us simply that, “Love is . . . kind.” This word is similar to the words we studied when we talked about kindness. Love is and does good. It is useful in that it only does what is in the other’s best interest. In fact, that is the most basic definition of love. I like to put it this way: Love is wanting and working toward God’s best interest for the one loved whether they deserve it or not. And that truth leads us to Luke 6:35 where we read, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.” We don’t get to withhold kindness because someone is a terrible person. No, we lovingly show them kindness because even God is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be kind. Are you a kind person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to grow in your ability to love people kindly, then you need to be biblically useful to them. Interact with them in beneficial ways that point them to Christ and sharpen them. Serve them. Respect them. Prefer them above yourself. 3. Love is Compassionate. As we survey this point, don’t forget that compassion and mercy are nearly identical concepts. I Corinthians 13:5b reads, Love “does not take into account a wrong suffered.” Remember, the one who sinned technically does deserve for us to hate them and become embittered, but it’s not our place to give them what they deserve. That’s God’s job. We are to withhold those things that are not ours to give, and a record of wrongs is one of those things we are to withhold. Ephesians 2:4 reads, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us.” I love how this passage shows that God’s mercy is rooted in His love. He wouldn’t be merciful were He not loving, and neither will we. And I Peter 3:8 links these two concepts when it says, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart [which is our word for compassion], and a humble mind.” Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be compassionate. Are you a compassionate person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to become more compassionate, you need to experience the emotional drive to come alongside the individual and pursue their best. Sit and listen to them. Allow your affections to be stirred by their hurts and heartaches. Be moved by their plights and needs, and then choose to do something about it. It may be a word, a meal, a hug, time, or even rebuke, but give it to them nonetheless. 4. Love is Gentle. In I Corinthians 4:21 Paul asked the church in Corinth, “What do you desire? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love and a spirit of gentleness?” The two exist in tandem. Love is not the unrestrained exercise of power. Love is Spirit-controlled power exercised for the best of the individual. Ephesians 4:1-2 ties these concepts together when it says, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.” And I Timothy 6:11 commands, “Flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.” Love can’t be uncontrolled. It can’t be sinfully harsh. It won’t be hurtful in the sense that it will actually physically or spiritually damage someone. It may hurt in the same way that a surgeon’s knife leaves a wound that must be healed, but that hurt only occurs because it’s required to accomplish the greater good. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be gentle. Are you a gentle person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to grow in your love by being more gentle, then recognize the importance of Spirit-filled self-control. This goes back to asking the question, how would God have me respond in this situation, discovering the biblical answer, and then leaning on the Spirit’s faithful power to respond accordingly. 5. Love is Patient. I Corinthians 13:4 puts is quite clearly, “Love is patient.” Ephesians 4:1-2—which we’ve read multiple times today—links patience and love together.” Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be patient. Are you a patient person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to become more patient so that you can be more loving, push aside your prideful desires. It doesn’t matter if you’re being inconvenienced. It only matters what will glorify God and be in this person’s best interest. Step outside of your natural fleshly response to protect yourself, and reflect on God’s infinite patience. Respond as He would were He standing there. One thing you can do is to deliberately inject yourself into situations that intentionally require you to make patient choices. That’s right, put yourself into situations where you will be tempted to be impatient, and then develop a plan for how you will glorify God in those situations, and then intentionally work that plan in His power. 6. Love is Enduring. I Corinthians 13:7-8 tells us that, Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.” A. Love bears all things. Love endures under the weight of relationships. B. Love believes all things. Love doesn’t believe a lie, but love does believe that God can be glorified in any situation. We can put it this way, love gives the benefit of the doubt. Love is willing to see the good instead of jumping right to the evil. Love won’t delude itself, but the biblical reality is that anyone can respond correctly when they obey God. Your love needs to believe that the person in front of you can change to God’s honor and glory. C. Love hopes all things. Love anticipates the best. It expects that which it believes can happen. If you’ve never spent much time in the book of Philemon, I encourage you to read it looking for Paul’s confident expectation that both Philemon and Onesimus (two men who had a shattered relationship) could do right by God and each other and—in the end—have a more amazing relationship than they had before the sin. D. Love endures all things. Love stays behind. It waits. It perseveres. It’s not going to make excuses for abandoning the individual or situation. E. Love never fails. True love endures. If it falls, if it fails, it wasn’t true love . . . or it ceased to be true love. You can claim to love someone while giving up on them, but you’re only lying to yourself and the other person. I Timothy 6:11 binds love and perseverance when it says, “Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.” And Titus 2:2 teaches, “Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.” I encourage you to do a word study in the Old Testament of the following phrases: “steadfast love,” “unchanging love,” and/or “lovingkindness” depending on the translation you’re using. In the Hebrew, the idea of God’s ever-enduring love was one of His most well-known attributes. Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be enduring. Are you a enduring person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. How do you grow in perseverance with people? The moment you’re tempted to walk away, stay. The moment you’re tempted to break the relationship, search for how God would have you mend it. When it feels like you can’t take it any more, remind yourself that it has nothing to do with you, meditate on what God has done for you, search God’s Word for guidance, and then persevere in His strength. And that kind of a response will easily lead to our final point. 7. Love is Forgiving. I Corinthians 13:5b says that love “does not take into account a wrong suffered.” It’s too busy humbly desiring to forgive to be able to dwell on past grievances. I Peter 4:8 writes, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” The idea of covering sin has nothing to do with hiding it or ignoring it. It has everything to do with covering the offense with genuine forgiveness that chooses not to hold the sin against the person. I encourage you to search the idea of love covering a multitude of sin and study the truth on your own. All of that to say, don’t believe the lie that love ignores sin. Nehemiah 9:17 says to God, “You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” The combination of all of those ideas is so powerful. Why is God ready to forgive? He’s gracious and merciful. That means He doesn’t give us what we deserve, He gives us what we most need. And why is He gracious and merciful? He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. And Ephesians 1:7 reminds us, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.” Are you a loving person? If you are, you’ll be gracious. Are you a gracious person? If you are, you’ll be forgiving. Are you a forgiving person? If you’re not, you’re neither loving nor gracious. If you want to become a more forgiving person, and therefore a more gracious person, and therefore a more loving person, than all you need to do is choose to forgive when asked. If someone desires to have their spiritual debt to you abolished, gladly oblige knowing how God has forgiven your sin. Then, when you’re tempted to dwell on what they did to you, refuse to give in. Ask God to forgive you for being prideful and unloving, and ask Him to help you relate to that person in the light of the fact that you have granted to them forgiveness of their debt to you. And if they haven’t yet asked for forgiveness, be ready to give it at the drop of a hat. Don’t justify your sinful response to their sin based off the fact that they haven’t apologized. Instead, show them the abounding love, mercy, and grace they don’t deserve. Withhold the anger, and choose to love. Conclusion
There’s no escaping it. If you want to live a gracious life, you must know what it means to love, understand the depths of that love, and believe that you must live that love, and—in so doing—you will begin to exhibit the love God through the power of God.
I pray this series has been a convicting challenge to you. I pray you’ve been stripped down and built back up in the image of God. I pray you are worshipping God better today because of this study. If so, please share this series with your friends and carefully consider if God would have you support this ministry at TruthLoveParent.com/Donate. And if you need personalized help in becoming a more gracious person, please reach out to us at [email protected]. We’d love to help. And join us in two weeks as we seek to better know, love, and worship God and help the people in our lives do the same. To that end, we’ll be starting a new season and—in so doing—start a conversation about Life in God.
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The Year Long Celebration of God is a discipleship experience designed to equip followers of Christ to better know, love, and worship Him as they help others in their lives do the same. We exalt God, teach His people how to practically worship Him every day of the year, and train them to disciple others.
Whether it's a small group, church, classroom, one-on-one, or community relationship, this resource is guaranteed to draw people closer together as they draw closer to God. AMBrewster is the creator of The Year Long Celebration of God and host of its podcast. Archives
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